A LIST OF THE VARIOUS THOUGHTFUL AND ABSTRACT QUESTIONS DONALD TRUMP WAKES UP AT 3 A.M. TO CALL NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR MIKE FLYNN ABOUT

9 February 2017 …   “According to the Huffington Post, Donald Trump recently placed a late-night phone call to Mike Flynn, his national security adviser, to ask if a strong dollar or a weak dollar is better for the U.S. economy. In the early rounds of commentary on television and Twitter, several people have mocked the president for staying up late, pondering questions that might … Continue reading A LIST OF THE VARIOUS THOUGHTFUL AND ABSTRACT QUESTIONS DONALD TRUMP WAKES UP AT 3 A.M. TO CALL NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR MIKE FLYNN ABOUT

DRAMATIZATION OF SENATE MAJORITY LEADER MITCH MCCONNELL RECURSIVELY SILENCING SENATE MAJORITY LEADER MITCH MCCONNELL REGARDING HIS SILENCING OF ELIZABETH WARREN

8 February 2017 …   Enter Senator Elizabeth Warren, Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell, and Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell. Warren stands at a podium in the Senate chambers. She’s just finished reading a letter written by Coretta Scott King, which letter criticizes Senator Jeff Sessions’ record on civil rights. McConnell stands at a second podium, which is attached to his seat or something. He’s … Continue reading DRAMATIZATION OF SENATE MAJORITY LEADER MITCH MCCONNELL RECURSIVELY SILENCING SENATE MAJORITY LEADER MITCH MCCONNELL REGARDING HIS SILENCING OF ELIZABETH WARREN

A CONVERSATION WITH KELLYANNE CONWAY REGARDING THE HORRIBLE MASSACRE IN BOWLING GREEN

7 February 2017 …   Q. Yes, well, thank you. I’m surprised you’ve even invited me here. To talk. Q. I wouldn’t call them lies. But yes, I haven’t been doing many interviews recently. And that’s probably because there are so many false reports about my so-called credibility, whatever that even is. You’ll notice I did the finger-quotes thing when I said credibility. That’s something … Continue reading A CONVERSATION WITH KELLYANNE CONWAY REGARDING THE HORRIBLE MASSACRE IN BOWLING GREEN

A BRIEF COLLECTION OF DONALD TRUMP’S TWEETS OVER THE LAST 24 HOURS

6 February 2017 …   Donald J. Trump ‏@realDonaldTrump The judge opens up our country to potential terrorists and others that do not have our best interests at heart. Bad people are very happy!   Donald J. Trump ‏@realDonaldTrump Just cannot believe a judge would put our country in such peril. If something happens blame him and court system. People pouring in. Bad!   Donald … Continue reading A BRIEF COLLECTION OF DONALD TRUMP’S TWEETS OVER THE LAST 24 HOURS

A DRAMATIZATION OF DONALD TRUMP TOSSING A DEFLATED FOOTBALL AROUND WITH TOM BRADY

5 February 2017 …   Scene: The football field at NRG Stadium in Houston, Tex. Enter Supreme Chancellor Donald Trump and New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. They’re standing about 10 yards apart, because Trump doesn’t have much of an arm. Brady has incredible form and throws tight spirals; Trump is trying to imitate Brady’s form and failing miserably. He more just pushes the ball … Continue reading A DRAMATIZATION OF DONALD TRUMP TOSSING A DEFLATED FOOTBALL AROUND WITH TOM BRADY

A CONVERSATION BETWEEN NEIL GORSUCH AND THE RESURRECTED CORPSE OF JAMES MADISON

3 February 2017 …   Neil Gorsuch: I just want to say, first of all, Jim — can I call you Jim? I’ll call you Jim — that it’s an honor and a privilege to be sitting here with you, strangely and inexplicably — and quite possibly immorally — to talk about something we both take very seriously: the U.S. Constitution. I think our listeners … Continue reading A CONVERSATION BETWEEN NEIL GORSUCH AND THE RESURRECTED CORPSE OF JAMES MADISON

A CRY FOR HELP FROM AN ANONYMOUS MEMBER OF CONGRESS REGARDING “THE INCIDENT,” WHICH APPARENTLY INVOLVES CONSERVATIVE MEMBERS OF CONGRESS HAVING SPENT THE PAST MONTH SEARCHING THE CAPITOL BUILDING FOR THEIR LOST TESTICLES

2 February 2017 …   This is a cry for help. We need aid, however it can be provided. Money. Manpower. Military action. Doctors Without Borders. Anything. If you can even just send some juvenile delinquents who skip class to smoke cigarettes but otherwise have nothing to do, we’ll take that. It’s that serious. We in Congress have all lost our testicles, and we need … Continue reading A CRY FOR HELP FROM AN ANONYMOUS MEMBER OF CONGRESS REGARDING “THE INCIDENT,” WHICH APPARENTLY INVOLVES CONSERVATIVE MEMBERS OF CONGRESS HAVING SPENT THE PAST MONTH SEARCHING THE CAPITOL BUILDING FOR THEIR LOST TESTICLES

A DRAMATIZATION IN WHICH DONALD TRUMP SCRAMBLES TO ALTER HIS CONTROVERSIAL IMMIGRATION BAN EVEN AS THE FEDS STORM THE WHITE HOUSE LOOKING FOR HIM AND MIKE PENCE, BOTH OF WHOM ARE IN VIOLATION OF THE ORIGINAL EXECUTIVE ORDER

30 January 2017 … Scene: The Oval Office. Enter Supreme Chancellor Donald Trump and Vice Chancellor Mike Pence. Both are breathing heavily. Pence leans on his knees. Trump barricades the door with chairs and small tables. He leans back against the barricade, as if to provide additional support. His comb over stands straight up. Sweat runs down his face. His face glistens. The sweat makes … Continue reading A DRAMATIZATION IN WHICH DONALD TRUMP SCRAMBLES TO ALTER HIS CONTROVERSIAL IMMIGRATION BAN EVEN AS THE FEDS STORM THE WHITE HOUSE LOOKING FOR HIM AND MIKE PENCE, BOTH OF WHOM ARE IN VIOLATION OF THE ORIGINAL EXECUTIVE ORDER

PARTIAL TRANSCRIPT OF DONALD TRUMP’S HOUR-LONG CONVERSATION WITH VLADIMIR PUTIN ON SATURDAY

29 January 2017 …   Donald Trump: Vladie! Baby! How the hell are you? Vladimir Putin: Please. Do not call me “baby.” It sounds, how you say, “homosexual.” DT: You got it, Snookum. VP: Ugh. Your American press is right, I think. About your intelligence, and your attention span. DT: Look, Vladie, Honey Pot, speaking of our American press, I’ve got a question, is why … Continue reading PARTIAL TRANSCRIPT OF DONALD TRUMP’S HOUR-LONG CONVERSATION WITH VLADIMIR PUTIN ON SATURDAY

A SHORT DRAMATIZATION OF DONALD TRUMP MEETING WITH LAWMAKERS TO DISCUSS WHETHER “LA LA LAND” IS EVEN GOOD, LET ALONE DESERVING OF 14 OSCAR NOMINATIONS

24 January 2017 …   Enter Supreme Chancellor Donald Trump, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, House Speaker Paul Ryan, and a couple Democrats no one really talks about anymore. I’m blanking on their names. Oh! Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer. They’re all drinking watered-down Fantas, because Mr. Trump doesn’t drink alcohol (which in and of itself should be worrying) and too many bubbles make his … Continue reading A SHORT DRAMATIZATION OF DONALD TRUMP MEETING WITH LAWMAKERS TO DISCUSS WHETHER “LA LA LAND” IS EVEN GOOD, LET ALONE DESERVING OF 14 OSCAR NOMINATIONS