27 February 2017 … Scene: A high-end Washington D.C. restaurant. The place is very exclusive. The lights are dim, for ambiance reasons. Waiters wear bow ties and scurry around with bleached towels over their arms. Some of them have small French-style mustaches. Enter Supreme Chancellor Donald Trump, Secretary of Defense James Mattis, and Vice Chancellor Mike Pence. The table they’re sitting at is covered … Continue reading A DRAMATIZATION DEPICTING DONALD TRUMP, MIKE PENCE, AND JAMES MATTIS GOING OVER THE SUCCESS AND FALLOUT OF A RECENT ESPIONAGE-TYPE MISSION THAT TRUMP MIGHT NOT EVEN REMEMBER HAVING APPROVED
25 February 2017 … Scene: The Oval Office. Enter Supreme Chancellor Donald Trump and Chief Strategist Steve Bannon. Trump sits at his Resolute desk; his hands are clasped together, and his elbows are up on the desk; his face is strained, and his tongue sticks out of the corner of his mouth. He’s putting everything he’s got into concentrating on the task at hand. Bannon … Continue reading DRAMATIZATION DEPICTING SUPREME CHANCELLOR DONALD TRUMP AND CHIEF STRATEGIST STEVE BANNON GOING OVER SOME REALLY TOUGH TALKING POINTS JUST BEFORE BEDTIME.
24 February 2017 … Scene: The New York Times’ main office. The place is clearly failing. The ceiling tiles are either stained or cracked or missing entirely. Loops of high-voltage wires hang from the ceiling. Water drips from the ceiling, too; buckets are scattered about, to catch the water. Rats scurry. A wild dog lopes. The computers are very old first-generation iMacs — the kind … Continue reading A DRAMATIZATION DEPICTING HOW THE FAILING NEW YORK TIMES IS DEALING WITH SUPREME CHANCELLOR DONALD TRUMP’S INCREDIBLY SUCCESSFUL ADMINISTRATION.
20 February 2017 … O.K., folks. Listen. I think we need to have a little talk. Not one of those productive face-to-face-type talks; more like the kind of talk where I write an incredibly demeaning letter that explains my own particular point of view, and then I ignore your totally valid response. That kind of talk. The reason being, I’m not all that great … Continue reading A LETTER FROM AN ANONYMOUS CONGRESSIONAL REPUBLICAN REGARDING WHY SO MANY OTHER CONGRESSIONAL REPUBLICANS HAVE BEEN CANCELLING THEIR TOWN HALL MEETINGS, AS OF LATE
19 February 2017 … Scene: A rundown one-bedroom apartment somewhere in Washington D.C. There are stains on the walls. The room smells like cigarette smoke. A roach scuttles across the kitchen floor. Enter Russian President Vladimir Putin and U.S. Supreme Chancellor Donald Trump. Putin sits at a small kitchen table. He’s shirtless; there’s lots of spiraling chest hair. He’s turning patties of cold meatloaf over … Continue reading A DRAMATIZATION, IN THE MOLD OF A MID-TO-LATE 20th-CENTURY SITCOM, DEPICTING SUPREME CHANCELLOR DONALD TRUMP AND RUSSIAN PRESIDENT VLADIMIR PUTIN MAYBE BREAKING UP
18 February 2017 … Infrastructure $200 There’s this small little pothole right in front of my Mar-a-Lago resort that needs to be filled. Like A.S.A.P. Sometimes when the armored Cadillac I’m sitting in the back of hits the pothole, the resulting jolt is so violent I accidentally drop the interior design catalogue I’m sifting through. Then I have to spend the next five or six … Continue reading A SHORT MEMO FROM SUPREME CHANCELLOR DONALD TRUMP REGARDING POSSIBLE BUDGETARY SPENDING FOR THE UPCOMING FISCAL YEAR
16 February 2017 … Scene: The Oval Office. The curtains are pulled way back, so the occasional passerby can see that the supreme chancellor is doing important supreme chancellor things. One of the windows is covered with a transparent plastic tarpaulin, from a recent F.B.I. raid everyone’s sworn never to talk about. Enter Supreme Chancellor Donald Trump and Vice Chancellor Mike Pence. Trump sits … Continue reading A DRAMATIZATION DEPICTING A CONVERSATION (…) BETWEEN SUPREME CHANCELLOR DONALD TRUMP AND VICE CHANCELLOR MIKE PENCE, WHICH MAY SHED SOME LIGHT ON WHY, EXACTLY, MR. TRUMP FEELS SO UNCHARACTERISTICALLY LOW ENERGY, SUDDENLY
15 February 2017 … Scene: The Oval Office. The curtains are closed, for privacy reasons. Enter Child president (who’s like three-and-three-quarters years old) Chief of staff, National security advisor, and Press secretary. Child president sits at his desk. Actually, he can’t reach the desk from his chair, so he’s sitting on top of the desk, but no one ever points this out. He’s also pushing … Continue reading A SCENE DEPICTING HOW EVEN A CHILD PRESIDENT WOULD BE BETTER THAN WHAT WE’VE GOT NOW
14 February 2017 … Enter Supreme Chancellor Donald Trump, chief strategist Stephen Bannon, possibly traitorous national security advisor Michael Flynn, prime minister of Japan Shinzo Abe, and a film director. Trump, Bannon, Flynn, and Abe are all sitting at a long dinner table. They’ve just received intelligence that North Korea had only minutes earlier successfully tested a missile capable of possibly delivering a nuclear warhead … Continue reading A DRAMATIZATION IN WHICH SUPREME CHANCELLOR DONALD TRUMP DISCUSSES HIGHLY SENSITIVE FOREIGN POLICY ISSUES AT HIS MAR-A-LAGO RESORT IN FLORIDA, RIGHT THERE IN FULL VIEW OF THE WELL-TO-DO PUBLIC, ALL OF WHICH IS BEING FILMED FOR SOME SORT OF REALITY TV THING
2017 February 13 … Q. Of course. Thank you for having me. I anticipate this’ll be a very fun interview. I’ve been looking forward to it all week. Q. Like I said, I’ve been anticipating all week that this’d be a very fun, non-serious interview, so if you could ask me very fun, non-serious questions, that’d just be great. Q. Maybe you didn’t hear … Continue reading A CONVERSATION WITH WHITE HOUSE CHIEF OF STAFF REINCE PRIEBUS, WHO, IT TURNS OUT, UNFORTUNATELY FOR HIM, DOESN’T REALLY KNOW WHAT HE’S TALKING ABOUT